Aspects of Christian Literature - Chapter 2

June 1, 1989

Our journal entry is to reflect on a book we have read or a show we have watched and use the three questions to criticize (critique) the work.  I do not watch television or go to movies so I cannot analyze any shows.  I will say that the lack of Christian morals and influence is a major reason I do not use this form of entertainment.

The only books I have read in the last couple of years are inspirational type books written by Christian authors, such as:   Ann Kiemel Anderson, Dr. James Dobson, Gordon MacDonald, Joyce Landorff, Chuck Swindoll, Dr. Charles Stanley.  I have read many self-help books dealing with psychology and emotions, as this has been one way God has healed me from my depression.  The books have all conformed to the Christian ethics I hold, are exclusively Christian, and represent a clear view of Christianity.

I have nothing against fiction books, but I am at a time in my life where I am intensely searching God's will for me, and stability in my emotions.  I am therefore reading God's Word and other helpful books to fill my mind and meditate upon things of God.  I want to grow wise and mature and that happens as a result of viewing things as God views them.  That's why I am saturating myself with Him.  I do believe Lee College is one place He wants me as I must also grow intellectually.  To do so in a Christian atmosphere is a real blessing.  I believe there is something for me to learn in every classroom, as I feel directed by the Holy Spirit even as I choose my classes.

Aspects of Christian Literature - Chapter 1

In the summer of 1989 (29 years ago) I took a class at Lee College taught by Donna Summerlin, entitled "Aspects of Christian Literature".  For this class we needed to turn in a journal at the end of the class.  It will be interesting for me to post this journal on my blog.  I wonder if any of my thoughts and ideas have changed over the last 29 years.  I will break this down into chapters for each day I journaled.  As you read, keep in mind that this is my personal journal that I turned in for class credit, but I journal very openly and honestly.  It is me.  My thoughts and feelings are emptied onto paper without qualm.  

Wednesday, May 31, 1989
This was our second day of class, Aspects of Christian Literature, taught by Donna Summerlin.  We meet Monday through Friday from 10-11:15 am for five weeks.

Yesterday we received our syllabus (check the spelling on that word - it's used a lot and I need to spell it right!)  Donna reviewed the course objectives and lectured on the conflict of literature.

The first novel we will read for class is Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis.  I have read the first chapter and realize I will have to really concentrate when I read.  It deals with mythology, so the names of people and places are different.

I did not realize that literature meant fiction.  I had heard we would read some of C.S. Lewis' works, but I was guessing he was a theologian, and the "articles" would be spiritual enrichment, non-fiction type.  So now to find out who C.S. Lewis is, a name I've heard often, but never knew who he was/is.

Today we reviewed our notes from yesterday, and discussed the purpose of Christian literature and what it is.  The question was raised, should we read literature that is not necessarily Christian.  This is an area I'll have to open up to and allow God to show me His response.  I do not wish to close my mind, nor do I wish to flirt with the world.

Since my fall and clinical depression over two years ago, I have ceased watching television completely, and dropped all subscriptions to non-Christian magazines.  I listen to Christian radio stations.  It isn't that I became a saint, but rather that I am on an all-out obsession with seeking and doing my Father's will.  I want as little of satan's input as possible because he deceived me in a big time way, and I hate him and all that he represents.  I don't want to touch anything that's been touched by him, influenced by him.

It all starts in the mind.  Whatever controls the mind, controls the body.  I must fill my mind with "things from above" to be totally equipped to resist satan.  He is so sly.  He is undermining the Christian community, and I think it is basically unaware.  (Prof. Summerlin noted "very true" on my paper)

I went to Israel with the Lee group in March.  The one lesson that stands out above all others is the choice to isolate or assimilate.  Throughout Bible history whenever God's people assimilated, they created destruction for themselves.  They settled for less than God's best.  They paid the price of mixing in with the world.  God calls for us to be holy, to be set apart, to be isolated so that His character can be seen in us, and we can be effective for Him.

This is a fine line to understand.  I do not mean we are to be sheltered, for we are to be "in" the world, but not "of" the world.  To be truly effective for Him, we must touch the world, the people.  But we need to have the mind of Christ, the love of Christ, and the steadfastness of Christ.  It's my guess most Christians spend hours watching TV, listening to non-Christian radio, and reading non-Christian literature and other printed material.  Perhaps they spend a few minutes in God's Word, though I doubt most do.  My question is, with that kind of input diet, how can Christ be represented?  How can His influence be felt if we are in the same mold as the world?  We must march to a different drumbeat.

Fearing I may be too narrow minded, I am asking God to keep me open to His truths, and keep me teachable.  I want to experience all that He has for me.  But I don't want to assimilate or compromise.  When I started to pull away from television, the question I asked each time I sat down to watch was, "Would I be comfortable watching this program if Jesus were here beside me, or would I be embarrassed?"  I usually became uncomfortable enough to turn the TV off, for I knew that Jesus truly was present.  I approach my reading material the same way..."Could I read this aloud to Jesus and not be ashamed?"  There are too many good books to read to waste my time on questionable material.  I am here for one purpose - to glorify God.  My inner person is the root of who I am, and I must discipline the inner me if I want the beauty of Jesus to be seen in me.

General Psychology

In the spring of 1989 I took a class in General Psychology at Lee College.  It was taught by Dr. Paul Conn, president of the college.  I think that was the one class he continued to teach after becoming president.  Dr. Conn was quite in tune with the students, and he made the class very interesting.  

It was during this spring semester. my second semester at Lee College, that I also joined the study tour group going to Israel for two weeks.  After these two classes my mind was made up, at the age of 39, that I wanted to pursue a college degree.  I regretted not getting a degree after high school, but at that time I could not see how it would benefit me...one who only aspired to be a secretary.  

I went one year to Olivet Nazarene College back in 1968, as requested by my parents, and decided it was not the route for me.  Also, I did not find Mr. Right on the college campus...which may be more the reason I wanted to attend college in the first place!  It was a good year over all, but I did not excel in the grades, and was not inspired to continue.

After my clinical depression in my 30's (see previous blog posts), I did not feel adequate to obtain employment.  A return to college seemed like the place to get my life refocused.  I started out slow, not knowing if I would be able to fit in with the academic world.  However, even in the registration line I began to make friends with other older/non-traditional students returning to school.  Many of them were seeking a mid-life career change, or following God's call on their lives to prepare for His service in some type of ministry.  That helped me feel like maybe there was a divine purpose in  my going back to college.

It was my second semester at Lee College in which I took General Psychology and the Study Tour of Israel (I do not recall the exact name of the class).  The desire to know the Bible in more depth was planted in me while in Israel.  I knew if I intended to seek a degree, I would need to take a foreign language class.  Since I did not think I would use German, French or Spanish, I chose to study New Testament Greek as my foreign language.  I knew it would open the Bible to me in ways nothing else could.  

New Testament Greek met five days a week for two semesters for the first year.  Since it was a class required by ministerial students, there were several in the class, many for their second time.  The class started out with 24 students, 21 of which were male.  By the end of that first year, only 11 students remained.  The top three of us were highly competitive with each other, and I think Dr. Bowdle enjoyed our camaraderie.  I personally think he rooted for me...the only female.  He did say that females are stronger in language arts and typically should do better.  I also think he enjoyed my system for memorizing Greek vocabulary.  There are three noun genders in Greek...masculine, feminine, and neuter.  So it seemed natural for me to put masculine nouns on blue 3x5 cards; feminine nouns on pink 3x5 cards; and neuter nouns on yellow 3x5 cards.  Not only was it colorful, it was a devise for helping me associate the gender of each  noun...very necessary in the study of Greek.  (I still have those original cards...29 years later.)  

However, this post is about the other class that helped me determine that I wanted to get a college degree.  So, kudos to Dr. Conn for creating the spark in me to pursue a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology.  If any academic class could be considered fun, this was it for me.  It was the beginning of a new journey for me to better understand what the human psyche was all about.

Depression - Part 4

How Do You Overcome Depression?

         Overcoming depression must be a choice the depressed person makes.  No one will be able to help you out of depression without your willingness to confront the illness and determine you want to get well and move forward with your life. 

A thorough physical checkup is the place to start on your road to happiness.  Medication will be needed if the serotonin in the brain has been depleted.  Often it is necessary to seek professional counseling to get to the root of the depression.  However, there are several guidelines that we all need to learn to live by to have a happier life.  These guidelines are:

·       Commit each day to glorifying Christ and meditating on God’s Word.

·       Get rid of grudges daily, otherwise they fester and begin to control you through anger.

·       Become more intimate with your family members.

·       Have fun with Christian friends.

·       Learn to enjoy your daily routine, or change it so you can enjoy it.

·       Get in the habit of doing special things for other people.  You will feel better, and you will have made their day.

·       Change your self-talk.  Learn to be your own best friend and quit being critical about yourself.

·       Develop a good plan to live life by, and include fun activities.

·       Remember no one is perfect.  Learn to accept that you will make mistakes.

·       Avoid the sin trap and guilt trip.  Make your relationship with Jesus Christ your number one priority.

In Summary

               My mother suffered various bouts with cancer and other illness through the years, but she had never experienced depression.  After talking with her during my parents’ visit, I decided I needed outside help to discover what was wrong inside me. 

I first went to a regular physician who diagnosed me as being clinically depressed and started me on antidepressants.  This helped me to start getting the sleep I needed and accomplish what I needed to during the day.  I tried to turn my life around and get moving forward again, but the heavy cloud still hung over me a year later.  That is when I decided I needed psychotherapy to get at the root of the depression. 

Today I feel very good about myself for being strong enough to seek the professional help I needed to get my life focused again.  I choose to love life and be all that I can be through Jesus Christ.  It is my desire to help others make that same choice by sharing what I have learned about the illness called depression.

­­Resources

• ·       Minirth, Frank B., M.D., and Meier, Paul D., M.D., Happiness Is a Choice, Baker Book House, Grand Rapids, MI.
• ·       Conway, Jim and Sally, Women in Mid-Life Crisis, Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL.
• ·       Littauer, Florence, Blow Away the Dark Clouds, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR.
• ·       Smith, Harold Ivan, Life Changing Answers to Depression, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR.

          

Depression - Part 3

When Does Depression Occur?

          Depression can occur at every phase of life.  It is beneficial to look at what causes the depression in the various stages of life.  Even a child may experience it due to the death of a parent, or the divorce of parents.  He will usually blame himself, anger turned inward.

          Suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers, and depression is the reason suicide seems like the only way out of this internal pain.  Teenagers have the most emotional trauma adjusting to life.  They are not children any longer, but neither are they adults.  It is a confusing, emotional time for them.  Often, they act out their depression.

          The most common time for women to become depressed is after the birth of their first-born child, called postpartum depression.  However, this is very normal and usually not long-lasting.

          Mid-life is another time depression has an open door to set in.  It is a time men and women feel they are losing their youth and looks.  The reality of growing old sets in and perhaps the realization that certain goals were not met creates an anger that life is passing them by.  Often depression in mid-life is expressed through improper sexual conduct.  This compounds the depression as it brings on guilt.

          

           Elderly people have many reasons for becoming depressed.  There are many losses during this stage.  They may lose their spouses in death, or other loved ones.  They lose friends, and loneliness sets in.  They often lose their health.  Again, there is anger at growing old.

          Even though there are different causes for depression at the different stages of life, general life changes which can occur anytime, can create psychiatric disorders.  Some of these are:  death, divorce, bad health, injury, financial, change of location, change of job, change of lifestyle, change in family, and even change in seasons.  Seasonal Affective Disorder is an absence of daylight that causes chemical changes in the brain.  Holidays are another time that depression can evolve from.  With so many causes it is no wonder depression is our number one growing health problem.  The good news, though, is that depression is curable, and knowledge is the first step toward being cured.

­­­How Do You Handle Anger?

               Since a major cause of depression is repressed anger, then learning how to handle anger is the main way to avoid depression.  The anger must be analyzed to discover if it is appropriate or inappropriate.  This is done by introspection which helps us gain insight to the past from which the anger may stem. 

Introspection also gives us clues to the personality type.  The obsessive-compulsive…known as Type A personality…and the overly emotional personality are the two types more likely to suffer depression from anger.  Appropriate anger is response to someone who has done us wrong.  A forgiving and loving confrontation with that person is an effective way to deal with appropriate anger.  Inappropriate anger results when our selfish and perfectionist demands are not met, and we hold grudges or when we are suspicious.  If we could give up these demands and suspiciousness, we would eliminate a majority of our anger.

          Anger must be ventilated.  There are various ways to express anger.  We can be aggressive, with harm intended, or passive, where we turn this anger inward and out.  Both ways are the wrong way to express anger.  The correct way is in assertiveness.  We accomplish this by saying what needs to be said, but in a tactful manner of love and forgiveness.  Forgiveness is choosing with your will to not hold a grudge and usually takes a Supernatural Power to accomplish it.  The positive side of this is that we grow in Christian love as we forgive.  Growing in Christ helps us control anger, which leaves us healthier and happier.

Depression - Part 2

What Are Some of the Symptoms of Depression?

          One of the most obvious symptom is the “sad affect” that a person has.  He will often break into tears, sometimes not even knowing why he is crying, and will have a general sad expression.  He often loses interest in his personal appearance.

          Painful thinking is the second major symptom.  A depressed person will become very introspective, filled with regrets and guilt and hopelessness.  He feels very rejected, unloved and lonely, and feels he will never be happy again.  He loses interest in activities he once enjoyed and lacks motivation.  It becomes hard for him to make decisions and he will begin to withdraw.  This can lead to suicidal tendencies.

          There are several physical symptoms that are noticeable in a depressed person.  His sleep pattern is affected, leaving him feeling fatigued.  His appetite is affected, which usually results in a significant weight loss or gain.  A loss of sexual interest may occur. Tension headaches are often present.  The brain chemistry becomes disturbed, causing a loss in serotonin.

          Another major symptom is anxiety.  A person becomes very anxious, worried, and more irritable.  This may cause discomfort in being in public places.

Delusional thinking is yet another major symptom.  The individual is out of touch with reality, thinking irrational thoughts.  He may hear voices, or think people are out to get him.  A person that becomes delusional for six months or longer without receiving a major tranquilizer could be insane for life.  However, with the proper medicine and counseling, delusional thinkers are curable. 

­What Causes Depression?

          The best description of depression is anger turned inward.  This anger may be anger toward ourselves (true or false guilt), or anger toward others (unconscious grudges).  Anger is usually the root of depression, but there are other emotions that are painful also.

          Suffering a significant loss is the most common stress that causes depression.  The loss may be the death of a loved one, or a divorce, or perhaps even a job situation.

          A low self-esteem, or lack of self-worth, is a primary source of emotional pain.  Parents that are overly strict may cause a child to strive to be perfect, and he gains a false guilt when he fails to meet the standard set for him.  This is seen most often in the first born.  He has a drive to be the most successful, and often ends up the most depressed.  This perfectionist drive often creates a workaholic, self-sacrificing type individual.  He is usually a person who wants to be in control, and lost control can cause a frustration, anger, that creates depression.

          Loneliness is another emotional pain.  God created us to need each other.  If there is a lack of intimacy with others, there is a void which can lead to depression.  Sometimes this loneliness is caused by rejection, which affects one’s self-image, causing a person to feel unneeded, unwanted.

          Guilt is a cause of depression, both true guilt and false guilt.  True guilt is a violation of God’s moral law.  It is a valuable tool God has built into us to influence us to do right.  False guilt, however, usually stems from an overgrown conscience, often derived in childhood by being taught that everything is sin.

          Wrong perspectives and priorities, also contribute to depression.  Often our dependency upon God and our relationships with others lose their place of value.  Having the right relationship with God, allowing Him control in our lives, and keeping the right relationships with others in the proper perspective and priority will relieve much stress that causes depression.

          Attacks by satan are another very real cause of depression.  He wants to make us ineffective as Christians, and he knows depression is real joy killer.  No one is attracted to a depressed Christian.

          There are several physical symptoms that cause depression.  A few of these are:  hypoglycemia, hypothyroidism, endocrine imbalance, viral infections, and fatigue.  Often a person will blame his depression on one of these physical ailments rather than admitting to an emotional disturbance.  That is why it is important to be diagnosed by a medical doctor or psychiatrist.

Depression - Part 1

Introduction

       My parents were visiting for a few days on their way north after spending the winter in Florida.  It was a semi-annual visit that I normally looked forward to.  I usually lined up some chores for my handyman father to do, and planned some shopping outings with my mother.  The menu was always planned in advance, and the cupboards and refrigerator stocked.  But this time I had dreaded them coming. 

Something was going wrong inside of me, and coping with the everyday routine of life was very difficult for me, let alone planning for company.  Nothing was prepared when they arrived, and it was all I could do to bring myself out of the bedroom to be with them.  I finally said to my mom, “Have you ever been real depressed?”  That was the first time I ever linked that word with what I was feeling.  I had never heard of depression, but I was on my way to learning about it firsthand.

          Since depression is such a common illness, I wonder why I had never encountered it before.  Prior to my own depression I had started a new ministry in our church for women.  It was my desire to see the women share their experiences in a Bible study type setting so that we might grow closer to one another and to God.  There were several widow ladies and divorced women that were familiar with depression, I was soon to discover.  Who was I to minister to them when I did not even know their illness existed?  So, God took me through a training seminar.  The following material is an accumulation of what I have learned through various books, articles, and personal experiences. 

What Is Depression?

       “You feel sad, almost like crying.  Sometimes you do cry.  Mostly, you feel hopeless, overwhelmed, unable to move or to work.  Your problems weigh on you like so many stones on your chest.  And you see no way of lifting those weights.  Those feelings may persist without letting up for weeks or even years.  A psychiatrist would say that you are depressed.”  (Earl Ubell, “You Can Fight Depression”, Parade Magazine, May 8, 1988)

          Depression is more than just feeling down, or sad.  It is a real disease just as much as cancer.  It produces physical, emotional, and mental symptoms.  Without the proper treatment, depression can last for years or even end in suicide.  However, with proper treatment, usually nine out of ten patients recover.  Since depression is becoming our number one health concern, and the leading cause in suicide, it is important for the public to become more knowledgeable on this illness.