My Journey to Israel - Chapter Nineteen

Chapter 19 - Thursday continued

            Once again I was at the Garden Tomb.  I entered the empty tomb once again to see the place where Jesus had laid.  This was our final visit, our final site on the tour---the empty grave.  What a place to end, for it was only the beginning!  Jesus raising from the dead was the beginning of eternal life.  Best of all, that eternal life is available to all who receive Him.  I cannot understand how anyone can reject His love when they truly understand He would have come to this earth and gone through all of His agony just for him or her.  How wonderful, though, that He made the sacrifice once for all.  Anyone can take freely of the gift of eternal life.  “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.”  (John 1:12)

            New foundations have been laid down in my life because of my trip to Israel.  The first foundation is my desire to start reading through the Bible again, this time with maps and study guides and really begin to “search the scriptures”.  It will now be much more alive to me since I have walked the land. 

            The second foundation is the 29 new friendships I have to build on.  Who knows how our paths will weave in and out through this life, and then we have all eternity to spend together.  How nice to have an initial acquaintance in this life.

            The third foundation is understanding the purpose of the shoreline in my life---to know God does draw me into His presence to bestow peace, joy, and love upon me, and to strengthen and encourage me.  And I know that my final crossing from the shore to the other side is completely in His hands.  I do not have to worry about it.

            Thank you, Jesus.  I love you.

            And, my dear friend, I love you too.  Thank you for allowing me to share my journey with you.  Jesus has a journey for you too.  Be open to it and believe.  Reach out, take His hand, and let Him be your daily Guide.  Feel His presence as you journey into everlasting joy with Jesus.

Carol Casarez

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Eighteen

Chapter 18 - Thursday 3/30/89

            Our final day in Israel.  We had come back to Jerusalem on Wednesday night, and after our evening meal we had a vespers service, a time of sharing what this trip had meant to us.  It was a very heart-sharing, heart-warming, heart-touching time.  I had asked for one friend to go on this trip with me.  God gave me 29 friends...24 from Lee College and five temporary residents in Israel.  I love how God multiplies everything He touches.

            This day was Land Day, a day commemorating when the Jews took the land from the Arabs.  There was a strike on, and most of the shops were closed.  Tension was extremely high, and this was the first day I felt any fear.  God was with us, though, and protected us through the day.  We went to the Temple Mount and sat on the steps such as  Jesus had taught on. (1999 note:  We found out later that someone was shot on those steps about an hour after we were there.)  We visited the Western Wall (the Wailing Wall).  I saw how slips of paper with prayers on them were stuck in every crack and crevice, like gum is stuck all over the bottom of a table.  Inside the Temple Mount we saw the Dome of the Rock, the Moslem shrine to Mohammed.  We also went to the Upper Room, the place of the Last Super and Pentecost.

            After lunch we went through the Old City, walking the road Jesus walked as He carried His cross (“down the Via Dolorosa”).  When we got to Golgotha, I thought about His blood saturating throughout all the land and down through the centuries to reach even me.  My heart is broken when I think of all that He suffered in His crucifixion.  I almost could not bear to listen to the details, it was so gruesome, so humiliating.  Sometimes I get caught up in the joy of the love of Jesus, and I forget all the pain and agony and suffering He went through.  He truly suffered far more than any other human being has ever suffered.  I thought of how people from all over the world come here to see the sights and view the history of this one Person, but do not really care about HIM.  This must make Jesus so sad.

My Journey to Israel - Chapter 17

Chapter 17 - Wednesday continued

            By the time I left the Sea of Galilee I understood what the shore in  my mind meant.  I first stood on the shore in 1977.  In a dream I looked out across the expanse of water and sky, and it seemed God was reaching out for me.  I turned and looked for Paul, and in so doing, God vanished.  Was I placing Paul before God?  Were my priorities in the right order?  In 1980 I knelt at an altar in complete surrender to God.  As His Holy Spirit filled me, I sensed I was on a shore and the waves were washing over me, cleansing me, filling me with joy and ecstasy like I had never know before.  Love flooded my heart in a new measure...I loved everything and everybody.  I felt so pure and squeaky clean, and I felt as though I could see more clearly...everything seemed brighter to me.  Since that night I have stood on the shore many times and been alone in the presence of Jesus.  I have heard the trumpet playing out across the waters:

“When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll,

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul!”

            God beckons me to this shore in my mind as a way of drawing me aside to be alone with Him.  During these times He reassures me of His love for me, and He builds my faith and dependence upon Him.  I know I would never want to face life without Him in control, without knowing I was safely in His care.  Someday I will stand on that shore again, and Jesus will come and take my hand.  Together we will cross that expanse and I will be with Him, forever in His presence.  My deepest desire is for that day to come soon.  My heart longs to be with the Lover of my soul.

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Sixteen

Chapter 16 - Wednesday, 3-29-89

            The morning started out with a boat ride, crossing the Sea of Galilee to Capernaum.  We stopped halfway across the lake to have a time of Bible reading and prayer.  Because everyone knew how “sacred” this place was to me, I was privileged to lead the group devotions that morning.  That was a very special treat to me. 

            We visited the Church of the Beatitudes, a place where Jesus taught the multitudes.  At the Church of the Heptagon, where Jesus took the fish and bread and feed the 5,000, we had more time to meditate.  I sat and gazed at the sea, very open to the message God had for me.  I read in my Bible in John 14 and 15 and let His words go straight to my heart, as though it was His personal message to me:

            “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am...

            You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it...

            If you love me, you will obey what I command.  And I will ask the Father and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--the Spirit of truth.  The world cannot accept Him, because it neither sees him nor knows him.  But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you...

            He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him...

            But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you...

            Every branch that does bear fruit he trims clean so that it will be even more fruitful...

            If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples...

            You did not choose me but I chose you to go and bear fruit---fruit that will last.  Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.  This is my command:  love each other...

            I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.  Until now you have not asked for anything in my name.  Ask, and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Fifteen

Chapter 15 - Tuesday, 3/28/99

            The Sea of Galilee is twelve miles long, seven miles wide, and lies 690 feet below sea level.  The Jordan River flows through the Sea of Galilee down through the Jordan valley into the Dead Sea.  Because the Sea of Galilee lies so low, where it is warmer, and there are high hills around it, where it is cooler, the air mixes and storms can rise up very quickly.  It is not unusual to have six foot high waves immediately, making it very dangerous to be on the sea.  It is understandable why the disciples were afraid in their boat out on the sea in the midst of a storm.

            This day we drove to the Syrian border, which is blocked off by rolled barbed wire and guarded by a UN guard.  This was the road to  Damascus that we could only look down, not travel on.  The snow-capped Mt. Hermon could be seen in the distance.  We viewed Caesarea-Phillippi ruins, and took a nature walk to a waterfall and to the ruins of Dan.  It was here that we saw an archgate dating to the time of Abraham, 1800 BC.  We were also in the Golan Heights area, an area of volcanoes.  After leaving there, we went to Bethsaida, the home of Peter, Andrew, James, and John, located on the north end of the Sea of Galilee.  The day ended with a bonfire on the beach and singing of praise choruses.  By now we had all become best buddies with each other, almost like a family.

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Fourteen

Chapter 14 - Monday continued...

            We arrived at En Gev on the east side of the Sea of Galilee in the early evening.  Our accommodations for the next two nights were cottages right on the shore line of the lake.   Called “Kibbutz”, these cottages are actually run by a commune.  This group of people combine their skills and wealth and families and live together in an agricultural setting.  Even though we were separated in groups of 2-4 in the cottages, we all came together in the communal dining room to eat.  The whole setting was very clean and well organized.

            Staying on the shore of Galilee, I was next to heaven.  I had been waiting for this shore for a long time.  There was something here I needed to experience, to learn.  I wanted to better understand why God had brought me to the shore in my mind during times of deep meditation.  Having stood on this shore so many times mentally, to be on it physically was a very moving experience for me.  I was the last person to leave the beach and go in at night, and the first one out in the morning.  At 5:30 a.m. I would get up and be out by the water to watch the sun rise (what magnificent sun rises and sun sets they were!)  I wanted to capture every possible moment I could on this shore line.

            That first night, in the blackness of the night, I looked across the sea to the city of Tiberias on the hillside.  The lights of the city seemed at first like a million tiny flickering candles.  Then as I gazed at them, it seemed that they started sparkling like jewels.  The lay of the city on the hillside made it seem like the bottom of a staircase just beginning to ascend into heaven.  I thought, “If the entry is this awesome, this beautiful, what must heaven itself be like!  It must be far too brilliant for human eyes!”

            I saw a single light way down the shore on the other side of the lake, and I imagined Jesus down there frying fish over an open fire, just waiting for me to join Him.  As I looked out across the waters it seemed that I could see the flowing white robe of my Jesus walking on the water, as though His feet did not touch.  He was walking toward me.  I sensed His presence all around me. 

            As I watched the waves roll softly into the shore, I realized that everything I had gone through in my depression was worth this moment.  I cannot believe that I might have ended my life and never have had the opportunity to stand on the shore of Galilee in the presence of Jesus.  Somehow I felt that no matter what comes my way in the future, I know that with Jesus I can make it through.  He holds my hand and will never let me drown.  We will walk on top of the troubled waters together.

            

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Thirteen

Chapter 13 - Monday, 3/27/89

            Today we loaded into the bus for a three day journey through the area of Galilee in the northern part of Israel.  We drove through Tel Aviv, which to the world is the capital of Israel.  The population there is 500,000.  To the Jews, Jerusalem (population 450,000) is the capital.

            From Tel Aviv we drove to Caesarea, a port Herod built on the Mediterranean Sea in honor of Caesar Augustus.  It was styled after the Greek city of Athens, only larger.  Herod did everything in a big way.  For those of us who like to golf, it is in the Harbour of Caesarea where the only golf course in Israel is located.  (how about a tee time, Lois?)  We had a picnic lunch on the white sandy beach of the Mediterranean.  It’s a beautiful blue-green sea.

            We stopped in Megiddo and viewed the lush Jezreel valley, so fertile and green and peaceful looking.  So many battles have been fought here, but there remains the big slaughterhouse of them all---the battle of Armageddon.  It’s very disturbing to think that the beautiful, serene valley will be war torn and bloodied.  However, we can rejoice because we know that our side wins!!  Jesus will be victorious and will set up His kingdom to reign forever!!

            “All hail King Jesus!  All hail Emmanuel!

            King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Bright Morning Star.

            And throughout eternity I’ll sing His praises,

            And I’ll reign with Him throughout eternity!”

            Nazareth, the place where Mary the mother of Jesus was from, is a city of 50,000 people today.  In the time of Mary it was a village the size of a football field with only about 200 people living there.  It was a nowhere, no place, little insignificant village.  It had the reputation of “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”  But where does God go when He chooses to use someone or to reveal Himself?  Once again He chose the humble, the seemingly insignificant.  In Nazareth God found Mary, who lived in a cave-like house over which a church is now built to preserve her home, the Church of the Annunciation. 

            When I saw those monstrosities built over the places of significance in the life of Jesus, I couldn’t help but feel Jesus would have been much happier if men would just give Him their hearts instead of building monuments to Him.  The monuments will one day be destroyed, but the heart lives on forever.  Today He still desires our hearts.  It isn’t so much our action as it is our attitudes.  Are we humble, are we submissive, do we have a servant heart?  Can His love flow through us so that HE might be seen and not we ourselves?

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Twelve

Chapter 12 - Easter Sunday, 3/26/89

            Words cannot begin to express the overwhelming feelings of being at the Garden Tomb for an Easter sunrise service.  It was as though the women had just run and told me that the tomb was empty and Jesus is Alive!  I had to go see for myself. 

            As over 1,000 of us from around the world walked down the path to the garden, we began to lift our voice in song to Him:  “He is Lord, He is Lord, He has risen from the dead and He is Lord!”  The birds were chirping, the sun was shining brightly, the garden was in full bloom, a choral group was singing beautiful songs of praise.  We worshipped together for an hour, and my tears flowed freely the whole time.  My Savior lives!  “Thank You, Jesus, Thank You, Jesus, Thank You, Lord, for loving me!”

            At the close of the worship service we took our turns going into the empty tomb.  There was an iron grate guarding the actual place where Jesus’ body had laid, but I could stand within two feet of it, and I could see where the rock had been prepared for the head of the body, an indentation.  I just stood there in awe that my Lord had actually laid there for three days, and then came out of there in triumph...over His death and mine!  Praise Him!!  I was so excited when I got back to our room that afternoon, I called Paul, who was still asleep for it was the middle of the night in Tennessee.  All I could say to him was, “I’ve been to the tomb, and IT IS EMPTY!!!!!”

            After we left the Garden Tomb we went to the Mount of Olives Church of God, where they had prepared an American style breakfast for us.  What a delicious treat that was.  We were getting a little tired of dry rolls, boiled eggs, olives, and cottage cheese---our breakfast every other morning except Easter.  The 25 of us from Lee College had the privilege of being the “Lee Singers” choir that morning as we worshipped with that church congregation after breakfast.

            We spent the afternoon in the Old City of Jerusalem, which is a cultural experience.  There were narrow little alleys lined with stores on both sides, little narrow shops.  We learned very quickly that the shop owners like to bargain, so shopping was almost like playing a game of Monopoly, bargaining over a piece of property.  Sometimes the alleys became so crowded, we were just moved along with the crowd, with little control over where we went.  There were a few scuffles between patrolling guards and people selling their wares, perhaps illegally. 

            We spent some time in modern Jerusalem also.  It has streets and sidewalk cafes, but the shop owners still liked to bargain.  We had a lot of fun with the bargaining process.  American dollars are very welcome there.

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Eleven

Chapter 11 - Saturday, 3/25/89

            On our way down to the Masada and the Dead Sea today we stopped in the wilderness of Judea where we could see the Monastery of Saint George.  There are currently eight monks who live there in solitude.  It is a desolate area, no grass or greenery whatsoever.  This could possibly be the desert where Jesus was led and tempted by satan for forty days.  The area is so typical of the Valley of the Shadow of Death that the Psalmist wrote about.  I sat and meditated, and it seemed I could see Jesus walking alone here, staggering from hunger and thirst...yet He did not give in to “pleasure for a season”, a quick fix offered by satan.  He waited for God’s best....and God sent ANGELS to minister to Jesus.  Would I rather have satan’s momentary enticements...or angels from God?  I believe I’ll wait for God’s best.

            As we continued on our way to the Masada we stopped in Jericho, an oasis in the desert with many palm trees, flowering bushes, and citrus trees.  This city, which reminded me of Florida, is the new Jericho.  The Biblical Jericho that Joshua defeated could not be rebuilt, according to the oath which Joshua had pronounced (Joshua 6:26).  It is a Tel (hill) outside the current Jericho.  Through the centuries it has been protected from being rebuilt, showing God means what He commands, and He had commanded that the city be destroyed.

            The Masada is a fifty acre fortress built on a mountaintop plateau 1,300 feet above the Dead Sea.  We took cable cars to reach the top.  Most of us elected to walk the snake path back down, a fairly steep, rocky descent that winded back and forth.  It took thirty minutes to reach the bottom.  The next time I would opt for the cable car back down.  My legs were trembling uncontrollably by the time I was half way down, and I found it would be easy to lose my equilibrium.  You dare not misstep, or it was a straight flight to the bottom!

           

            It was time for a break, so we stopped at En Gedi, a public beach on the Dead Sea.  This is the lowest spot in the world, lying 1,300 feet below sea level.  The Dead Sea is one-third salt, and those that went in said it was impossible to try to stand up, it just flipped you over.  From there we went to Qumran, where the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered in caves.  In the 1940’s some shepherds were looking for their sheep in the caves and found seven original scrolls containing the scriptures of Isaiah, Deuteronomy, and Habakkuk.

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Ten

Chapter 10 - Friday, 3/24/89

            On this Good Friday we went to the Garden of Gethsemane for a time of worship.  After that we visited the Holocaust Memorial, reminding me of the persecution of the Jews.  Would things have been different had they not have persecuted Jesus?  It is gruesome what evil men are capable of.  I could not stay in this museum very long without becoming nauseated at what had happened.

            We then went to the Model of Jerusalem, a small scale of the city as it was in the time of Herod.  Friday sundown until Saturday sundown is the Jewish Sabbath.  The stores, businesses, schools, and public transportation all shut down as the Sabbath is the most sacred day of all the Jewish days.

            Several of us attended a Jewish Synagogue service on Friday evening.  Men must wear hats, and most wore the little round flat caps.  Men and women enter through separate doors.  The men go into the main “sanctuary”, while the women sit along the sides behind partial walls and iron grill work through which they can view the service.  It was a service with a lot of ritual, yet a very loose atmosphere.  As it was in Hebrew, we did not understand anything being said, prayed, or sung.

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Nine

Chapter 9 - Thursday, 3/23/89

            This morning started out with a time of conversational prayer in Shepherd’s Field, outside of Bethlehem.  This is the area where the lowly shepherds watched their flocks.  How touching that God chose to reveal the birth of His Son through angels to the humblest class of society.  Today the Church of the Nativity is built over the place where Jesus was born.  Not too far from there is the Herodian, a huge mountain that King Herod had constructed with palace like living at the top.  It was to be his tombstone, for he wanted a shrine built for everyone all around to see and remember him by. 

            King Herod had wealth beyond imagination....Jesus was born in poverty.  Herod ordered men to serve him....Jesus came to serve men.  Herod was cruel, killed maliciously, was hated by everyone, and people rejoiced when he died.  His season of reign was finally over.  Jesus came in love, came to die for us, and now He lives forever and will one day reign as King throughout eternity.  He who is last shall be first...he who is least shall be greatest.  I can truly worship such a God as that!

            We journeyed to Bethany, a two mile distance from Jerusalem, located at the foot of the Mount of Olives.  We went there to walk the walk that Jesus took on Palm Sunday.  First we stopped at the tomb of Lazarus, where Jesus had wept over the death of His friend...or did He weep over the lack of faith and understanding of those He had spent so much time with?  Does it break His heart today when we show that same lack of faith in Him? 

           

            We continued our walk up the hill to Bethpage where Jesus cursed the barren fig tree that represented the Saduccees.  Outwardly they were spiritual, but they bore no fruit.  This disciples were not to worry about them, for the Saduccees would perish even as the fig tree did.  It was at Bethpage that Jesus mounted a donkey to ride into Jerusalem in fulfillment of the prophecy of Zechariah (9:9)...”Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion!  Shout, Daughter of Jerusalem!  See, your king comes to you, righteous and having salvation, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.”

            It was also on the Mount of Olives that Jesus wept over the city of Jerusalem.  I believe He looked down through the ages and saw all that God’s chosen people, the Jews, and holy city of Jerusalem would go through.  It was knowing they could have chosen Him and avoided their destruction that broke His heart. “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.  Look, your house is left to you desolate.  For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.’”  In their rejection of Him they marched on toward the Holocaust.

            The Mount of Olives represented other events in the life of Jesus also.  It was here that He gave His Olivet discourse.  Here on this Mount he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, surrendering Himself to His Father’s will.  And it was on the Mount of Olives that He ascended into heaven.  Jesus had spent much time in this area, and as we sat in the church at the Garden of Gethsemane and sang “Blessed Assurance, Jesus Is Mine”, tears flooded my eyes.  I thought of Jesus on that day of His trial, with the crowd jeering at Him, and all of the humiliation He went through.  In quiet submission He faced His death to give me blessed assurance.

            Thursday night we were served a Passover Supper in a very natural setting with low tables and oil lamps as our source of light.  We were served unleavened bread, wine (grape juice), stew (beef in place of lamb), and bitter herbs (onions, radishes, peppers, garlic).  This meal was symbolic of the last of the plagues in Egypt when the death angel passed over those homes with blood on their door posts.  They were saved from the sorrow of their first born being killed, and were then let go from Egypt...freed from bondage.  In like manner we are freed from bondage to sin by the blood of the Lamb.  Thank you, Jesus.

My Journey to Israel - Chapter 8

Chapter 8  - Wednesday, 3/22/89

            Today we headed south to the area of the patriarchs.  We stopped at Elah Brook and selected smooth round stones, just as David did from the same brook as he prepared to meet Goliath.  We stopped at the ruins of Beersheva where Abraham made an oath at the well.  I thought about Abraham and how God called him to leave his country behind and head to a place known only to God.  Abraham moved forward in faith, fully trusting God, and wanting God’s best in his life. 

            I can identify with that same call in my life.  I have had to leave behind the security of my heritage and proceed forward in faith to wherever God is leading me.  In a sense I have left my “family” (denomination) behind, believing God wants my total dependence to be placed in Him alone.  (1999 note - this was during the period in which God took us on a five year journey away from the Church of the Nazarene.  It was one of the most profitable journeys I have ever been on!)

            Abraham was faced with two options as he followed God.  He could isolate, be set apart as God called him to be, or he could assimilate, mix in with depraved humanity and ways not of God.  He assimilated in Egypt, willing to give his wife to Pharaoh instead of trusting God for protection.  He assimilated with Hagar, instead of waiting for God to give him descendants through his wife Sarah. 

            Isolate or assimilate...we face those same decisions in our choices today.  Do we trust God enough to wait on His timing?  Do we have faith enough to believe that He is in control and will see us through every circumstance of our life?  I know I must learn to be patient and not try to bring about results in my own way.  I must wait upon the Lord.

            We went into the wilderness of Zin where the Hebrew children wandered for forty years.  We were there only two hours, hiking through the dry canyon, and it was easy to understand why they wanted to go back to Egypt.  Had they not disobeyed God, they could have gone on into the promised land.  In that same way disobedience in our lives lead us into dry periods in the Christian walk.  I want to walk through every door God opens for me, and walk away from those He closes.  I trust His wisdom much more than my own.

            Down in the Negev area we saw the ancient ruins of Arad, dating to 2600 BC.  The only temple left in Israel is still partially visible here.  It was interesting to see how the rooms were separated, knowing the Holy of Holies was such a sacred part of the temple.  How precious of our Lord to make it possible for each one of us today to enter that “holy of holies”, into the presence of our Father in the sanctuary of our hearts.  He is always there waiting for us to give Him praise and pour our hearts out to Him.  How I love Him!

My Journey to Israel, Chapter 7

Chapter 7 - Tuesday, 3/21/89

            Tuesday morning I awoke to sunshine and the beckoning hills of Jerusalem.  All I could say was, “Thank you, Jesus, Thank you, Jesus!!!”  This was our first full day in Israel.  We started out by viewing how Jerusalem is situated on a hill with valleys surrounding the city, and then more hills.  This makes Jerusalem like a bowl with mountains surrounding her for protection.  In the same way God protects His children, as though we are cupped in His hands.

            Israel is a country that is 185 miles in length and 90 miles wide, smaller than our American states.  But it is the doorway connecting three continents:  Africa, Asia, and Europe.  Because of its strategic trade routes everyone wants to control Israel for their own economic reasons.  That helped me understand why it has always been such a hot spot, a troubled and war-torn country. 

            The conflict between the Arabs and the Jews is better understood by knowing how each group believes.  The Jews believe that God gave Israel to them in His covenant with Abraham.  The Arabs, or Moslems, have a law that once something belongs to Islam it is theirs eternally.  The tension between these two groups of people is very obvious.  Hatred prevails.  In fact, while there I met an American school teacher who is teaching elementary education in Israel, and she told me that the Arab children are being taught hatred as part of their religion.  To throw rocks at the Jews is to earn brownie points.  Raising children with that philosophy is not an indication of future peace, only war and strife.

            We viewed the old City of David, which lies outside the current walls of Old City Jerusalem.  Houses today are still built on top of each other on the sides of the hills.  The roof of one house is a sidewalk or step up to the next level of houses.  With King David living at the top, it was easy for  him to look down on the roofs of the houses below him and see Bathsheba taking a bath.  The question is, what was she doing taking a bath out on the “sidewalk” except hanging out a sign, “Available”.

            King David was raised as a humble shepherd boy.  Shepherds are considered the lowest class of society.  However, God saw in David a man after His own heart.  King Saul, full of pride, took large places and was brought down.  David took a small place and God made it the great city of Jerusalem.  This lesson of God using the humble continued to repeat itself over and over again to me in the various settings we were in during our stay in Israel.  As God looks on our hearts, may He find them humble, available for His use.

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Six

Chapter Six

           

            The class of 25 students taking the Study Tour in Israel left the  Conn Center in Cleveland, Tennessee, on Sunday, April 19th, 1989, bound for Israel.  The bus taking us to the Knoxville airport broke down before we got 30 miles from home.  Plan “B” went into effect, and several vehicles arrived to take us on the 90 mile trip to the airport.  We flew from Knoxville to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, switched planes, and flew into New York JFK airport.  There we boarded KLM Airlines and had about a six hour flight to Amsterdam.  I might add that KLM Airlines is the Cadillac  of airlines.  They know how to take care of their passengers, down to giving each of us a warm washcloth at the end of our flight to freshen our faces with.  It was a very pleasant flight.  I determined that I would sit by someone different each leg of our journey so I could get to know my class mates better.  We were going to be together day and night for almost two weeks, and I don’t like to mingle in a room full of strangers, so it was time to make them my friends.

            We had a three hour layover in Amsterdam, so we hopped on a train and went downtown Amsterdam.  We walked around, trying not to get run over by bicycles, their main means of transportation.  We saw the house of Anne Frank, but it was too early in the morning for it be open.  We stopped in a coffee shop to have a snack and warm up a bit before heading back to the airport.

            When we got back to the airport we discovered that there was an intense baggage search, and body search, before we could load the aircraft flying us on into Tel Aviv, Israel.  This took well over two hours, but we realized it was for our own safety.  It was another four hour flight into Tel Aviv.  When we landed we were met by a bus which took us to Jerusalem to our place of temporary residence.

            The Jerusalem Center for Biblical Studies was to be our home for the next twelve days. The whole trip took us 29 hours to reach our destination.  I had not slept any of those hours, so Monday night, our first night there, I was ready for bed! My two roommates, Nelda and Kim, were to become good friends over the next few days.  Nelda is the wife of Bill George, another one of my professors in the Bible department at Lee College.  Kim is a single girl, in her senior year, and soon to be married.  (After we got back from the trip, she asked me to be her substitute Mom and help her shop for a wedding dress.  That was a neat gift from God, since I did not have a daughter.  I knew He would supply a girl in my life to go shopping with some time, and here it was!)

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Five

Chapter Five

            In February (1989) I found that the campus pastor, Robert Sheppard, was the one who had canceled and made the spot available for me.  It had been his life-long desire to go to Israel, but it was not going to work out financially for him to be able to go.  When I discovered this, I went to prayer.  I asked God to please make it possible for him to go on this study tour....to somehow surprise him.  I did not feel it was right for me to go, and him not be able to.  That would have left me feeling quite guilty.

            My friend Brenda began to feel that the trip was going to be too much of a burden on her family since they had just bought a house.  She wanted to back out if there was someone to take her place.  Then I learned that there was going to be a collection on campus to raise the money to pay Pastor Sheppard’s expenses and send him on his dream trip to Israel.  Enough was collected to not only pay his trip, but there was an additional $400 for him to use as spending money.  The best part of it all was that it was a total surprise to him!!!  They surprised him in chapel when they presented the money to him as a gift.  God had answered my specific prayer to give him the trip as a surprise, literally!  Wow!!  What a God!!!!

            Pastor Sheppard gave a sermon on God’s Best.  He told how he had wanted to go on this trip.  His family planned to pool their money together to pay his way, but there just was not going to be enough funds.  His wife Gail, knowing how badly he wanted to go, suggested he borrow the money.  He did not feel that would be right.  He made the decision to wait for God’s timing for his trip to Israel.  God had it planned all along to give him this trip.  If Pastor Sheppard had borrowed money, he would have missed God’s best.  The lesson is to wait for God’s timing.  I want His best in my life.  Sometimes I get too eager, too impatient, and I try to do things in my own way.  It never works out the way it should.  I have been learning to “wait upon the Lord.”

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Four

Chapter Four

            The final week of the fall semester Mr. Boone informed me that there had been a cancellation and that I was officially in the study tour group.  I knew instantly that God had created that opening for me.  He truly had called me, and I was going.  I was so humbled, for who was I that God should choose me.  It was as though I heard Him say to me, “I told you so!”

            By the time the money was due for the trip, somehow the funds were available.  I do not understand how, for we did not borrow, and nothing unexpected came in.  Not only did I have the money for the trip, but I was able to sign up for three additional classes for the spring semester at Lee College.  This was verification to me that God did want me to continue to prepare myself intellectually for His service.  I have learned that God is an amazing accountant, and whatever He calls us to, He equips us for and provides the means.

            Several friends and relatives were hesitant about me going to Israel because of the strife and tension in that country.  However, I never had one ounce of fear in me over the trip.  God gives peace when you walk in His will.  He gave me complete serenity about this trip. 

            I began to feel Jesus more real in my life.  When I would think about places that we might visit, I would sense emotions that perhaps He felt...the tears He shed at the tomb of Lazarus,  and on the Mount of Olives as He wept over Jerusalem, and in the Garden of Gethsemane as He surrendered Himself completely to His Father’s will.  I became all the more conscious of God’s call upon my life, and I wanted to be submissive to my Father’s will also.  I wanted to live a holier life, become more disciplined, walk a deeper walk, and have the mind of Christ.

My Journey to Israel - Chapter 3

Chapter Three

            There were two reasons I felt called to Israel.  I had answered God’s call on my life to get prepared for His full-time service.  I do not know what I am preparing for, but I walk on in faith, one step at a time.  I felt that Israel was to be a foundation for my ministry, whatever it is. 

           

            The second purpose for me going was simply to be with Jesus in a very intimate way.  I went through a lot of agony in my depression.  I felt everyone else was having all of the fun while I was trying to survive in life and find hope again through Jesus.  It was as though He was giving me this trip as a gift, a reward for that faithfulness in the desert of brokenness.  My God is a God so very unpredictable, but always faithful and full of adventure and surprises, “in His time”.

            The excitement of Israel began to grow in me, even though I was only on the waiting list.  I thought about it being such a small country, but THE most historical one on earth.  I recalled the verse in Matthew 2:6, “But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.”  One man, born in a small country on the eastern coast of the Mediterranean, changed the course of history as He stepped on this earth He had helped His Father create.  Creation, Destruction, Resurrection.....what a difference Jesus has made in MY life!!!

My Journey to Israel - Chapter Two

Chapter Two

            I went to the Conn Center one night for a concert, and being early, I sat in my car listening to a Gaither tape.  They were singing “Peace Be Still”.  I closed my eyes and transported myself to that peaceful shore in my mind where I often went to be alone in the presence of Jesus.

            I was standing on the white sandy beach watching the soft waves rolling into the shore, when Jesus came along and took my hand.  We started walking along the shore.  He waved His other hand toward the sea and said, “Carol, this is the Sea of Galilee.  I walked on these waters.  This is the sea where I calmed the storm.  Carol, I love you, and I am going to calm the storms in your life also.  I will always be with you.

            We stopped walking, and as I stood there with my head bowed in adoration, He faded away.  Then the tape started playing “Gentle Shepherd”.  I looked up and realized that I now stood on a Judean hillside.  I saw Jesus standing under a tree with a lamb in His arm, stroking its wool.  All around Him were sheep, and I was in the midst of them.  He looked at me as if to say, “Carol, I’m watching over you....I care for you.”  I was so touched that Jesus would come in such an intimate way.  I realized then He truly does meet ALL of our needs...even our need for intimacy.

            Those visions were a reinforcement to me that God was calling me to Israel.  Soon after that my friend Brenda felt that she too was being called to go on the trip.  With only two slots left available, she felt we should sign up.  Well, that meant one of my fleeces was answered...I had a female friend to go with on the study tour.  However, the money had not come in.  That left me somewhat confused, but my husband Paul felt we would be able to manage the funds somehow.

           

            By the time I went to sign up for the trip, it was full.  I was the first one on the waiting list.  There was no disappointment.  I did not want to go on this trip if God had not called me.  I knew there was unrest in Israel, and perhaps I did not need to be there in the middle of trouble.  Besides, the fleece of money had not come in.  If God wanted me on the trip, He could still open the doors.

MY JOURNEY TO ISRAEL MARCH 1989 JOURNAL Chapter One

            It was my first semester at Lee College, Cleveland, Tennessee, in the fall of 1988.  I was sitting in my Foundations for Ministry class, chatting with a friend before class began.  I told her I wasn’t sure if I would have enough funds to come back for a second semester at Lee unless God somehow opened some doors for me.

          Class began and Mr. Boone, a Bible professor, began talking to the class about a Bible class being offered in the spring semester that would be going on a two-week study tour in Israel.  At first I did not give it much attention, but the more he talked I began to feel this mounting interest inside of me.  It seemed a Voice was saying to me, “Carol, you are going on this trip.  I want you to come and see My land.  I want to show you where I walked while on this earth.”

            I had never even been interested in going to Israel before, but when this Voice started humming inside of me, I came alive.  Every fiber within me was alert and listening---to the Voice, and to Mr. Boone.  I thought, “This is silly!  I just told my friend that I could not hardly afford to come back next semester, and here I am thinking of going to Israel to the tune of $1,400.  Lord, what are you doing?”

            I heard Him answer, “You’re going, Carol.  This trip is for you.”  I was so excited about it that when I got to my next class I started telling my friend Brenda about the trip, hoping she would be interested also.  Then I told the Lord that I needed to know for sure it was Him talking, and not just my own imagination.  If it was truly Him calling me, would He please give me one female friend to go with, and would He please send the down payment money as an indication He would supply the rest.  That sounded reasonable to me.  I did not want to go on a trip with all preacher boys, especially if I had to borrow the money to do so. Time passed and nothing happened.  Meanwhile the 25 slots available for the study tour were filling in.

Who Am I Following?

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. (Romans 8:14)

In my morning devotions from Sparkling Gems from the Greek, Vol I (see reference under "Books I Am Currently Reading" on side bar), the author wrote how we must be obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit and willingly follow him.  This means we sometimes have to crucify the desires of the flesh, and not take the path we want to take...but follow after the Holy Spirit.

I was reminded of a time in my life when I did not listen to the nudge of the Spirit.  Back in 1987 while I was doing my devotions one morning, it seems the Holy Spirit drew near and told me that I needed to give up a certain friendship that I had been enjoying.  It was not a healthy friendship for me, but I thought I was strong enough to handle it on my own.  I chose to continue to pursue that path in my life, rather than listen to the Holy Spirit.

It was not long before reality hit me that I could not handle it on my own, and I failed.  I failed God, and I failed myself.  I lost the friendship, my witness as a Christian, and my integrity.  I spent the next 18 months in clinical depression, in a world where I cut all ties with the outside world...no television, no magazines and newspapers, no shopping.  When I would go out to shop for necessities, I would have panic attacks.  I did not want to be with any of my friends, and I no longer enjoyed doing things I used to enjoy.

I spent most of my hours in bed.  Every morning I listened to Dr. Charles Stanley on the radio, as he seemed to give me something to grasp on to so I could keep from sinking.  I sought after God with my heart, soul, and mind.  I knew that He forgave me, but I could not forgive myself.  How could I do such a stupid thing?  How could I go from the mountaintop spiritually to the very pit of hell in such a short time?  I did not feel worthy to live...my family would be better off without me.  

Thank God, and I do mean God, he remained faithful to me during that period of my life.  At the foot of my bed as I poured my heart out to him, He was there loving me.  He put before me a book of my life...a book he urged me to open and learn from.  I found things in my life that I was not previously aware of.  Things I needed to change.  Sometimes I would slam the book shut, not wanting to face who I really was.  But the Holy Spirit was faithful to urge me to open the book again.  I remember telling him that I didn't want to, but if he would help me surrender the me I had been, and make me more into the image of Jesus, I would willingly walk with him through the pages of the book, the pages of my life.

Not only did I seek God through prayer, I also sought him through his Word.  Daily I would sit at my desk and pour through the Bible, trying to comprehend what he might be saying to me.  I highlighted the passages where I would feel the nudge of the Spirit, and I journaled what I believed were his instructions to me.  I spent a lot of time during those months writing in my journal...it became my closest friend.  I could be totally honest in my journal and not be concerned what anyone might think of me.  

Slowly I began to build strength by the spiritual disciplines I was practicing in my reclusive life.  I knew I needed to get out of the house to truly find healing.  I needed to reconnect with the world in healthy ways.  However, I also knew I was not strong enough to find a part time job, and I did not want to be a working Mom.  I had missed out on so much in my sons' life, that I wanted to once again be there for them as much as I could.  My husband had been doing double duty while I was fighting my battle of depression.  

I made the decision to go back to college.  I had regretted that I never sought a degree after my freshman year at Olivet Nazarene College in 1968-69.  I enrolled at the local community college and took an English class and a class on psychology, as I wanted to better understand human nature.  The English class required writing eight papers in the course of the semester.  I had been so out of touch with the world, I didn't know what to write about.  I chose to write about depression...I was well acquainted with that!  I believe that it was therapeutic for me to write out my deepest feelings.  In my psychology class I was learning things about the human psyche, but the professor was teaching from a humanist view.  My beliefs collided with some of what she was teaching.  I made the decision, therefore, that I would continue with my education at the local Christian college...Lee College (now University).  

During this time I had also gone to see a physician, who put me on an antidepressant to begin the healing in my body chemistry...to get the synapses jumping and connecting again!!  A friend also highly recommended I talk with her Christian counselor...and told me if I didn't go on my own, she would drag me there!!  I found the sessions helped me regain a self-respect that I had lost.  I began to feel I was worthy to live and had much to offer as I also continued to allow the Holy Spirit to lead me and strengthen me.

I registered to take a couple of classes at Lee in the fall.  I once again took psychology, with a Christian professor, and I took a spiritual formation class.  Both classes highly intrigued me, and I knew I wanted to continue with my education and pursue a degree in psychology.  Meanwhile, there was a special study tour of Israel being offered in the spring semester.  I wasn't paying any attention to the professor talking about it, until the Holy Spirit said, "Pay attention!  I want you to take this study tour!"  

That was thirty years ago.  I am now prompted (thank you, Holy Spirit) to share my journey that started thirty years ago.  I have saved my papers from college and seminary, and had been thinking about putting them on my blog, to get me back into blogging.  Also to refresh my mind of what I learned back then!  This blog has been my introduction to the educational series of blogs ahead.  I hope a few join me, but even if I go alone, I desire very much to retrace the steps of that part of my life's journey.  

By the way, I came out of depression, no longer needing medication, after my first semester at Lee College (University).  I had come into an oasis in my life, and I drank fully of the river of the life offered to me.  Thank you, Jesus, and thank you, Lee College!!  However, my journey forward has been and will always be totally dependent on following the Holy Spirit!  I have never had another season of depression, thanks to learning the lessons well the first time through.  Father God, I give all the glory to you!!